A Happy Home

My world was falling down around me. Everything I thought I knew seemed to be slipping away. My bishop had visited with hubby, and now he was visiting with me. I don't think I heard most of what the bishop had said, but I heard this.

"What are you doing to make sure your husband comes home each day to a happy home?" the bishop asked. My mouth opened and closed without making a sound. I went back and forth between shock and anger. I hadn't done anything wrong. Hubby had ruined everything. It was all his fault. Why should I worry about making a happy home for him, when he had so badly hurt me?

I think it took me a full two days to calm down and really think about what my bishop was asking. I am a wife. I am a mother. My primary obligation is to my husband and children and making a home for them. The fact that I had been hurt by the choices that my husband was currently making did not diminish my responsibility to my family. In fact it was even more important now. When I finally stopped sulking, I noticed a difference in my family right away. Little things made all of the difference. I tried to make little efforts, (I know this sounds pathetic, but in my defense I was 8 months pregnant at the time.) Hubby liked it when he came home and our bed was made, dinner was at least in process and the kids happy. I tried not to unload on him the million and one things that I was frustrated with as soon as he walked in the door. I tried (and still try) to meet him with a smile, ask how his day was.

Now, a few years later we do things a little differently. Hubby calls me from the van on the way home. Don't worry, he puts the phone on speaker and puts it in his front pocket. I have 25-35 minutes to vent away. If the kids are driving me crazy, if something new broke (happens way too often at our house), if we got an unexpected bill in the mail, it all comes out in that phone call. In turn he complains about every crazy driver, every red light and every pot hole that annoys him. By the time he pulls in the driveway, we both feel better and can enjoy our evenings. With my current health issues in play, even getting the bed made or dinner on the table is hard. (Once again, in my defense, I do home school 4 children for 5 hours a day.) Hubby has been great to overlook my shortcomings and acknowledge my efforts. I think the biggest part of having a happy home really has been my own attitude. I am grateful to my bishop for asking me to re-evaluate what I was doing. It may not been easy advice to hear, but it made a huge difference for our home.