Lets work on it!

First of all, my poor little blog has been so neglected lately.  I have really been wanting to address some serious issues, because those serious issues are pulling families apart.  However, I am not quite sure how to tackle it all.  I'm still thinking.  Still working it out in my mind.

On to the next part.  I have been seriously concerned as I hear people talk about "working on their marriage" only to see what they feel is "working on a marriage", If that makes sense.  Lets go over some things that DO NOT  help a marriage.  First of all staying together for an arbitrary amount of time does not alone constitute working on a marriage.  More has to happen then just residing in the same home.  Staying in the same home and resenting every moment that you are there is not working on a marriage. Staying in the same home, while continuing to indulge and feed outside relationships is not working on a marriage.  Staying in a home, while bad mouthing your spouse to anyone who will listen is not working on a marriage. Staying in a home and hoping for the other person to change all of the things that annoy you is not working on a marriage.  I am not trying to be snarky or mean.  These are just some things I have observed happening with people I love and care about.  Sadly, not one of these marriages have succeeded.

I am not an expert.  I haven't taken a single class on marriage and family relations.  I have however learned so much from personal experience and trial and error.  Things that actually worked for us while working on our marriage.  Serving each other with your whole heart.  Don't do it because your husband or wife deserves it.  Do it because you want to have more peace and love in your home. Let go of past hurts.  Even if the past hurt was this morning, let it go.  Definitely don't dig up hurts from years ago.   Don't expect your husband or wife to change overnight or maybe not at all. Actively look for things you love about them now.  Pray for them, daily, hourly if that is what it takes.  Remember that he or she is a child of God.  Do everything you can to make a happy home.  Give your relationship as much time and energy as you can.  Let go of some of the outside commitments so that you can use that energy at home.  Limit time with electronics.  Work together on projects.  Set aside time to talk everyday that doesn't include talking about problems.  Just talking.  Be physically affectionate. Don't withhold your love.  Overcome selfish desires in your own life.   Seek professional help when needed.  Rely on your bishop as well.  Have faith!  More then anything lean on your Father in Heaven.

Its funny how people who you hardly know, have a huge impact on your life.  My husbands boss died unexpectedly over the weekend.  Despite the fact that I rarely ever talked to this man, my heart is deeply saddened at his passing.  I know that because of the actions of this man, because of how he treated my husband, because of how he praised and encouraged my husband, that we have had a good experience with this company over the last 4 years.  I know the men who worked there looked to him as a mentor and a friend.  My heart is sad for his family, who will greatly miss him.  He was only 49 years old.

It has also made me think about my own life and my own health.  I want to be healthy and be able to enjoy my life with my family. I want to be able to see my children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren grow.  I know that we need to make some serious changes to how we treat our health.  I think back to last year, when I could barely get out of bad.  There have been some great improvements since then.  I take Hubby his dinner when he is working at the ball field and it makes me smile, because I can walk across the field without trouble.  Last year I wouldn't have been able to.  Two miles is the farthest I have walked, and it kind of kicked my butt, but I was so happy to be able to do it.  I have a new determination to be healthy, although I admit I feel kind of lost.  I don't really know where to start. I guess I have some work to be doing.