When Hubby and I first started having problems, we sought the counsel of our bishop, our religious leader. I must admit that the first advice surprised me. "Pray together, read the scriptures and go on a weekly date." The advice seemed so simple-too simple. I wondered if the bishop truly understood the level of distress our marriage was in. After a while I decided that if I wasn't even willing to do the easy things, how could I ever attempt the harder things. I am still surprised at how much difference this advice has made in our relationship.

While I prayed often and sincerely, one thing that was not happening was praying as a couple. This turned out to be a little (a lot) more difficult than I expected. How can you pray together, if you are barely speaking to each other? For us it was an amazing process. You just can not maintain the same level of anger and animosity for each other when you kneel down together. At first our prayers were pretty short and to the point. We just wanted to get it over with. That way we could tell the bishop that we had done what he had asked. Then we moved to asking for peace in our home and comfort for our children. We asked for guidance to do the right thing for our family. Then we prayed for each other. I think it is impossible to sincerely kneel down and pray for someone and still feel angry towards them. With the anger stripped away, the real issues can come to the surface. At least they can be identified.

I truly feel that this was a turning point for us. It did not make our marriage perfect. It didn't fix problems over night. I think what It did do was give us a chance. It helped us make a move toward love and resolution instead of anger and hate. This is not a simple fix. It is just one of the many steps a couple can take. We are still working on our marriage. We still have times when we fight and argue. When I notice that things have not been going horribly well in our relationship, I almost always see that we have not been doing this very simple task as well as we should be. And when we are praying together regularly as a couple, things seem to go much more smoothly . We have more peace in our relationship.