Keep going?

Over the course of the last few weeks, I have found a few blogs that basically have the same idea as I had for this blog. I have been wondering if I should even keep this blog. Obviously, the idea is not as unique as I had previously thought. These other blogs were better organized and well written. I wonder if there is really a need for this blog. I started to write it, after a conversation with a group of friends. One friend expressed frustration with an issue with her marriage. Its is a long term problem, and I don't really see resolution in the near future. However, I was surprised and very disturbed about the turn that the conversation took. Right away nearly every woman was suggesting divorce. "He doesn't deserve you!" "He has no right to treat you like that! When are you going to leave him?" "You would be better off without him. Come and stay with me!" Not one single time was there a comment encouraging her to stay in her marriage. When I tried to comment, I was immediately shut down. So then I read the blogs of people who, it seems, have perfect wonderful marriages. I started to wonder if anyone out there felt/feels like I did/do. I wonder if there is a woman out there who loves her husband very much, but the rug has just been pulled out from under her and everything that she thought she knew seems to be gone. Maybe all of her friends and family are jumping on the divorce band wagon, but as much as she hurts, as much as her heart is broken, she very much wants to save her marriage. Maybe there is a woman out there reading all of the "I'm happy, my marriage is perfect" blogs and posts on face book and is feeling sad and discouraged and thinking "My marriage stinks!" And it does. I want so badly for those women to know that even if their marriage stinks today, maybe with a little (or A LOT) of time and attention and work, things can get better. It's not as easy as just doing X, Y, Z and suddenly the love of your life is going to fall into line and you live happily ever after. It took me five months of holding on, crying myself to sleep every night, just to get a glimmer of hope that my marriage could survive. It took us another 2 and a half years to get to a place where I was fairly certain I would be married at the end of the year. There are still days when I wonder how we are ever going to make it work out. There are still nights when I cry myself to sleep.

BUT if there is someone out there, I want to help them. I want to be a soft place to land for them. I also want to know that I did more to support marriage-my own marriage and others- then I ever did to tear a family apart. I would not want to face my Father in Heaven at the end of my life and not be able to say I did all I could to keep my family together. I certainly would not want to have to admit that I was an instrument in tearing another family apart. So I guess for now I will keep trying....