Date Night!!!

OK, I admit it. This is hard for us. It sounds like such a simple and enjoyable way to keep your marriage fresh, but somehow, someway it always slips to the back burner. This was one of those "Big three" pieces of advice that our bishop gave us. I remember very clearly the first date after that advice. We went out to dinner at a small restaurant that specialized in dutch oven cooking. There was no ordering, just a cheerful waitress that brought the "Special of the day" out. I remember staring at my food. I had no appetite. Hubby was messing around with his cell phone. Neither one of us were talking. 45 minutes into our date I noticed my feet were swelling at an alarming rate. (I was 8 months pregnant) Hubby dropped me off at the hospital and went home to relieve the sitter. My mom brought me home the next morning after my blood pressure had stabilized. It was by far the most miserable date I had ever experienced.

We still have not been able to establish the habit of a weekly date. Usually we follow this pattern... We date weekly for a couple months. We either have to tighten the budget so tight it cries or we start a "season" with one or more of our kids. (Baseball, basketball, Volleyball, or some other activity) or work gets crazy for Hubby. We slack off for a while. It could be a few weeks or a few months. Then we realize we are growling at each other more often than not and we work to get it back on track.

I will say this- It is SO much easier to "date" now that we have teenagers in the house. The only preparation we have to make are to tell them we are going out and leave the house. So much better, different than when we had to worry about tracking down a baby sitter. Our "dates" also look different now than what we first tried. Sometimes a date is sneaking out after the kids are asleep for an ice cream cone at McDonald's. Sometimes its a long walk or a walk around the temple grounds. Sometimes it is just sitting in a parked car and talking for hours. Rarely do we ever do "dinner and a movie." If we do, its usually for a special day, like a birthday or anniversary.

I was so excited a few weeks ago when I decided to buy tickets to a game for our local minor league baseball team for Hubby for his birthday. YAY! A Present for him and a date for me! We went this weekend. Now we have attended several games this season, but usually we sit on the berm with our six kids crawling all over us. This time, thanks to a great coupon deal I got, Hubby got to sit in the good seats, right behind home plate. He was happy and thrilled with his gift and I was happy and thrilled to be with him. Now we are trying to figure out what would be happening around my birthday in the fall that we could turn into a birthday present/date. I think that what really matters is that we remember that we matter. When we give just that little bit more attention to our marriage, we come out of it stronger and happier people. We are better able to deal with the one hundred and one things that we need to deal with. When we take the time to go on our little dates we actually remember that "Hey, I really like that guy and he really likes me."